June 12th: National Jerky Day

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Messin’ with Sasquatch! What!? Sweet.  I love beef jerky, it is so good.  Extremely delicious. You know what beef jerky tastes like to me?  Road trips and baseball.  For the most part it is an essential component of the traveling diet among my sister and me.  We realized it, most recently, on our day trip to Old Forge.  We stopped at the gas station and stocked up on our road trip food: energy drinks, beef jerky, and candy (which happened to be Starbursts that day).  As we started driving, Kimberly made a remark about how we were basically guys, eating manly food… the only thing that gave us away were the Starbursts… and boobs.

Now, a quick (haha jk… it’s actually kind long) story about beef jerky… kinda.  What you are about to read is a true firsthand account of some events that had happened to me.  And I have two other people to vouch for me.  Ok, here we go.  It occurred on December 30, 2011.  My cousins Gregg (33 years old at the time) and Alyssa (11 years old at the time), and myself decided to do a little ghost hunting in the upstairs ‘bedroom’ of Alyssa’s house.  Now this house has a lot of activity going on.  I’m not kidding.  The house has been in my cousin’s family for a really long time… like they built it.

Well, we brought some tape recorders, flashlights, phones, and snacks (which Alyssa had slim jims).  Now, imagine two grownups and a child all squashed on a full size box spring (the mattress was downstairs) laying in the dark.  Ok, about an hour into our investigation we are having a conversation about slims jims, I think because Alyssa asked if we wanted some.  She started telling us a story about how some kid in her lunch period really likes slim jims, and Gregg asked if she liked beef jerky.  Now I don’t really remember the rest of the conversation because I listened to the tape so many times and never went passed this point.

After, we were down in the kitchen, trying not to wake my Aunt and Uncle, listening to a bit of the tape to see what we caught because we were anxious and couldn’t wait until morning.  Well get ready to shit your pants.  Right after Gregg asked about liking beef jerky, you hear a voice after I had answered saying “I like all of it.”  Yeah… like Alyssa starts talking almost right over it.  It is the craziest voice I’ve heard. Like a gravelly, in the throat voice. And we don’t remember any of us saying it… and we didn’t hear it.  Now, Gregg and I are listening to this tape, each with an ear bud, while Alyssa is watching us. Gregg and I are just looking at each other with big eyes and trying not to make a big deal out of it in front of Alyssa because she was like 11… and it was her house… where her bedroom was across from this room. So crazy.  Sad thing, my recorder wasn’t a digital one so I was unable to transfer any of it to my computer… but boy do I still have those tapes.

That wasn’t the craziest thing that happened those two nights we did it.  I know Gregg went back upstairs to get his phone charger and when he came down his eyes were wide and he goes “ It is so hazy up there right now, like a fog.” We were like cool…

Another, around 2:00 am on the second night (New  Year’s, we missed the ball drop) all of us were used to the dark by then, I mean you could see the street light casting a shadow of the ceiling fan, but it was not bright.  Well, all of a sudden the room got extremely dark, like the walls seemed to close in and we couldn’t see the ceiling fan anymore. I go “umm, guys did it just get really dark all of a sudden?” Alyssa quietly was like “yeah…” and Gregg goes “yup! I’m done!”  And we got up and hurried out of there.  It was the craziest sensation and thing I’ve ever witnessed.  Like, that room got so small but it felt big. I really don’t know how to explain it.  I am still in awe of it today. Crazy shit, man.

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Wow. I feel that escalated quickly, from dried seasoned animal meat to terrifying ghost stories. So Happy National Jerky Day! Hahahaha

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